Jennifer McCauley

Mendi Lewis’s Armor and Flesh is sumptuous, introspective, sensitive, and in some moments unsettling. To review the book as a whole is difficult, as even one line from one of this talented autho r’s poems evokes enormous effect. Therefore, I will focus on a few of the most striking poems in the book, which encompass the overarching theme of finding one’s inner strength. The first piece sets the stage for the narrator’s inner journey, placing Lewis (or the implied author) in the skin of a white man. As this figure, the ‘she’ character is breezy, self-assured, and attractive to women. Lewis writes, “I never doubted this was me…Even though I was a small, black girl watching myself over my shoulder. and did not need to see my face or recognize my own soft voice.” As this white man the narrator’s hair is “wavy” and she wears a “cowboy hat” (a symbol of America-the wild west). Mendi obviously associates the white man (at least America’s perception of him), with control and power. In contrast, as a black girl, Lewis is “small” her voice “soft”. Although one may suggest Lewis desires to be a Caucasian male to acquire his rights and self-confidence, I argue Lewis already believes she IS this sort of person, regardless of her appearance. When she states, “I never doubted this was me…” and “I did not need to see my face or recognize my own soft voice”, she expresses an awareness of her own power, despite her “soft voice”. Throughout the course of the book, the narrator contrasts her quiet, internal voice with the woman hungry for ‘armor’,20for the powerful, the sexual and perhaps masculine. In “Her Subject”, the narrator is gentle and vulnerable, she desires to exit her own body for a few moments, to shed her insecurities, and not focus on how peers and lovers perceive her. She desires to lose her, “awkward pose, clunky shoes, my width and height”. Similarly, In “Not A Sound”, Lewis writes, “Rodeo red around her shoulders…need a red flag.” The poem is not in first person, however, if one were to identify this ‘she’ as Lewis, one could interpret this “rodeo red” as Lewis’s awareness of her fighter’s spirit. The red flag may suggest she requires the signal to move forward. (Also if the ‘rodeo red’ refers to a torero in Spanish bull fights, the bullfighter is usually a man. If Lewis is referencing American rodeos, the same rule applies. Is Lewis still identifying strength with the masculine? Or is she claiming that she possesses the power of a man and simply needs the confidence to unleash her true self? I still think the latter.). Nevertheless, In “Hello, Monster”, the narrator’s voice reflects a dark, even sinister personality: “I am the monster in my closet…At night under covers, I’m afraid to creep out…I threaten…everything I hold dear…I know what I’m like.” Lewis is keenly aware of the fierce, even destructive being sleeping within her soft exterior. In this poem she reveals her internal struggle with the ‘beast’ who threatens her self-confidence. In the final poem, “Out of The Water”, the author seems to have emerged from the struggle between her two selves, perhaps new, perhaps more self-aware. She writes, “My shell begins to harden the hot sky…I’m almost safe.” Note, her shell is not hardened BY the hot sky, she herself does the hardening. Her ‘shell’ is now strong enough to influence even her natural surroundings. However, the narrator states “I’m ALMOST safe”, implying she has not yet fully transformed into whatever self she desires to be; she is still a work in progress. Although Lewis’ book includes racial tension, sexuality, and feminism, the work is a ultimately a journey of self, of a woman struggling to create armor from flesh.